Compatible emulators

Synopsis

With a small freighter, they travel the spaceways trying to scam everyone they come across.
This is the plot to Stag. It seems a little familiar, right? It sounds a little like Elite, doesn't it? There is a subtle difference though. The elite were good. There was entertainment. There was gameplay. Above all, it was fun. Stag, on the other hand, is pathetic.

It has been semi-converted from a German game. I say semi-converted because it is only partially translated into English. A few things have been left out. Like grammar. And meaning. It doesn't really matter - you don't need to understand it to realize how terrible it all is.

Another amazing concept is that the game is entirely mouse driven. On its own, it's not very original, but the underlying philosophy that it's completely impossible to do anything without having to do 67 factorial presses and generally work with the ball of your mouse is.

I expect EAS to offer a mouse-only text adventure next. Or maybe a word processor where you choose your phrase from one of 8,000 icons.

Trading means bargaining with strange creatures over a limited range of goods. When I say haggle, I mean it in a weird new sense of the word where you tell the other guy his price is really high and he tells you to leave. There is not much room for Thatcherite entrepreneurial flair.

You don't get any information about other planets, so it's a chance to find out if they actually want these things when you get there. Oddly enough, the entire galaxy lives on a diet of milk and alcohol. Maybe they listen to too much late 70s rock music.

The space flight sequence is the best part. That doesn't mean it's good, it's just better than the others. Does the ship glide silently and majestically through vistas of stardust? No, it crosses squares. Or space streets as EAS would like. This is very reminiscent of Mastertronic's Chase, of which we can only get news. If the ship hits the sides, it loses its shields and eventually disintegrates. Amazing.

Sometimes pirates attack your ship. You will know when this happens because you will suddenly stop flying through the squares and text will appear telling you that pirates are attacking your ship. Just as good. Otherwise, you would never succeed. Some small blobs appear on the screen. They are getting bigger. You die.

Surprisingly, EAS has password protected this offer. Maybe the company believes that software pirates are as stupid as those in the game. If anyone's doing a little shady business here, it's EAS trying to offload this lackluster effort for twice the price of the original Elite.

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